by Ted Sherman

Created on: September 30, 2007

We're not that much different from other animals. We protect our young until they are ready to go out on their own. We nurture, teach and set examples of behavior for them, just as we see in families of tigers and robins. The so-called generation gap is something invented by humans within the past couple of centuries, based on what is sometimes laughingly called civilization.

There is no need to consciously attempt to bridge the artificial generation gap, which is most prevalent in societies where indulgence in personal freedom is permitted to become more important than atavistic traditions. Children brought up in a materially-rich and permissive society are probably the only ones who even consider the existence of a generation gap.

When they reach age 15 or 16, after being bombarded by a lifetime of commercialized media, the drug culture and peer influence, it is almost inevitable that they build an artificial bridge between themselves and their parents. Even very young parents are often confused and feel helpless, because they see their nurturing and control being eroded by the frantic and unappreciative teen's urge to break away.

As with all animals, the breaking away is a perfectly natural process. Unfortunately, too often, with free and wealthy human societies, it becomes obsessive to the teen to get away from parental control, and too often tragic for parents to who need to hold on as long as possible. This is where the generation gap stretches its widest.

The simplest advice for parents when they must face the moments when the generation gap begins to take place is to set temporary, but unbreakable rules. The teen must comply with those clear rules or face consequences for disobedience. Then, while gradually relaxing those limits of behavior, parents should take each stage as it happens. They can ease at their own pace from total control to total freedom when, hopefully, the teen is better able to handle freedom. Parents must accept the fact of nature that the teen must eventually leave home and the protection of the family.

That may be a bit too simplistic to say, considering all the nuances and conflicts that burst like artillery blasts during those stages. However, if the mother tiger can let her cute little kitten go out into that big, bad jungle out there with total independence, it shouldn't be that difficult for mere human parents to do the same with their children.

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