For a moment, picture this: you are in a room with another person, a person of your choice. Each you have a balloon attached to the same air tube. Your opponent has much more air in their balloon. Your balloon is puny. Oh, you didn't know this was a game? Now let us up the ante by announcing that the amount of air is equal to the amount of power points. The goal, as you might expect, is to move all of the air from your opponent's balloon to yours, thus inflating your balloon. How will you accomplish this?

There are no set rules in this game. One good piece of information you might like to have is that you can control the amount of air volume in both balloons, using any approach you might deem necessary. How can you, without popping or bursting your opponent's balloon and risk losing the air in your own balloon as it escapes through the gaping hole your have created?

Some of the words you would use to describe your efforts might be: press, squeeze, squash, twist, compress, and step on. In other word, you would do anything that would enable you to deflate the other person's balloon.

You have been playing this game in a room in your imagination. Nothing about it was real. But now, I want you to imagine what it must be like when this kind of emotional power struggle goes on in a relationship every day, many times a day, for real. In relationships where there is a power imbalance, balloons are not manipulated. Rather, the person who is threatened by another's happiness and success; will go to any means to bring the other person down. They see what the other person has and think to themselves, "I want that."

They are unaware that they have their own inner resources which are quite sufficient for their needs. Instead they believe they must squelch and squash any spontaneity in the other person whom they view as their opponent. The power monger will expend great energy and ingenuity to find ways to sabotage any success or progress. They may hide important papers or tamper with the vehicle. Sarcasm and "putdowns" are most common. If the victim is excited about some accomplishment or promotion, the abuser will imply that the other person is trying to show them up to make them feel small and worthless. They accuse them of being selfish and acting like they were better than everyone else.
The person who was so happy, proud and excited is now totally deflated and the honor means nothing anymore. The tapes begin to play in their head, "Who did you think

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