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Sitting on the couch, crying to my "best friend" Marcie. "How am I going to get through this, what about the boys?" Her reply "You'll be fine, I'll always be here." That was five years ago, when I was going through my divorce. Marcie and I had been "best friends" since we were sixteen years old. We were inseparable, we had even married best friends and then we were getting divorced together. Was there anything that wouldn't do together? We moved in together, I think that is when everything changed. We started going out, clubbing every weekend. We'd date here and there, nothing serious though. That was a unwritten law between us. If you were involved in a serious relationship, it would cause you to lose your best friend.

So we meet these guys out one night. Marcie had went to school with them. She was all about the idea of all of us dating. It was the "perfect" situation, us dating friends again. This is the situation that you are allow to become serious in, as long as we BOTH were involved.
Unfortunately, things did no go as we planned. The first few weeks everything was great, then Marcie and her new beau went there separate ways. Although, my beau and I were getting along great. Then I start not going out as much, since I'm spending more time with my new beau. We can't really do things as couples since, Marcie isn't in a relationship. So why does this make friends drift apart? Is it the friend or the new beau? I think it's alittle of both and alot of yourself. I mean, here you are trying to start a relationship with someone. Of course your not all about going out and being part of the bar scene. It's not good for a new relationship.
I haven't spoken nor seen Marcie in three years. So what ruined our relationship? Did I really choose a "guy" over my friends? I don't feel that is the case at all. I think we grow in different directions. Some may grow with you, others will end up like Marcie and I. Were as friends you don't know how to maintain the friendship with out having to hang out at the bar all the time and fear that if you call just to hang out they won't. I had been looking for a way out of the bar scence, when I met my beau. Therefore, when I decided no longer to hang out at the clubs anymore. I had only chose a different path in my life. I guess we had done so much together that once we choose opposite directions it was impossible for us to up with our friendshp. It's sad that we couldn't and I wish we could have. I would like to have been able to be friends even if it meant we didn't hang out in the same scene anymore.
When people get into relationships they shouldn't have to choose friends or their new companion. They should be able to have both and keep both. Friends should be there for you, not only to listen when things go wrong in your relationship. But when things are going good and be there. I don't think it's only your friend that need to be careful about not changing, but yourself as well. Many times we leave our friends behind, once we begin new relationships. We do this cause we are afraid to ruin our new beginnings, as well as be envious of the past we are about to leave behind.

Learn more about this author, Hope L. Grace.
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