Two years ago I was faced with dilemma. I was so tempted to seek revenge on the people who brutally attacked and left my son for dead. They beat him and then threw his body out of a speeding truck along the side of a deserted road. His injuries were over whelming,even for it to register in my mind. They took his identification so that he could not be "tied" back to them. I had to go to the hospital and identify him.
I remember that day/evening so well and it would take pages and pages to even write and explain what all happened. To make a long story short....
My son was only 19 at the time and he had gotten his life together, he had his first apartment and was working to get his contractors license because he wanted to build houses. He had been in this line of work before. He had a zest for life and finally was focused and knew what he wanted to do in his life. At 19 he finally had goals. wow... I was impressed and proud of him....
September 10,2005 changed all of that and more. Changed my life and his life forever and our entire family. He was mistaken for someone else and they abducted him and beat him lifeless..... Injuries: 4 skull fractures, collapsed lung, hemorrhaging on the brain, road rash beyond belief, they hit him so hard in the back of the head, because he wouldn't go down with out a fight, that when they hit him his facial bone structure came off and then back on ( his face broke) and he had internal bleeding and many many more problems.He was in I.C.U for about a month on life support. He was in a coma for about a week. He wasn't expected to live through the night.
I was devastated. He did wake up and when he did.... he was a child again. Had re-learn everything all over again and I mean EVERYTHING! Learn to sit up, walk, talk, swallow and he also didn't know me or himself or anyone. He at first, had a 5 second memory and could not function whatsoever. I would remind him all the time that I was his mother and I would tell him his name.
This was hard and when he was on the road to recovery, I was pretty damn close to getting revenge on these people. I wanted to, I felt I needed to. I wanted their parents to feel what it was that I was feeling. Watching my son, who I didn't even know anymore, had to get to know the "new" him. I was in turmoil in getting back at them.
A friend of my son's, his father came to me and said that he had some "friends" who could find these men and tie them up and then get me and force them to tell me why they did this to my son. Why I have to watch my son suffer and recover. Ohhhh... at first I was like... hell yeah.... I had a bit of "hate" in my heart, which I never had before and I was sooooo tempted...
Then I had a different feeling come over me. I said no. He said why? I said "because I do not want any parent to go through what I am going through. I want the men who did this to suffer and feel all that my son is feeling. But that wouldn't make my son any better or make him any different than he is now. So NO I can't." And this friend respected my wishes. I also told him that "if anything happened to these individuals, that they wouldn't be worth my spiritual life after I die. That I did not want to have to answer or explain to God why I would do such a thing."
My son is better now. He only has memory problems. He is a miracle doctors say and that he is lucky. He has a job and his own apartment now and is doing great. He doesn't remember what happened and the doctors say he may never know.
Remember this.... revenge is not mine it is Gods..... they will have to answer to Him and I do not want to be them when they stand before God!
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