Just think of it as Japanese arithmetic made easy, or how to write a superfluous paragraph. Late on September 29th the following three paragraphs appeared on MLB.com, attributed to the ordinarily astute Ken Mandel:

"A win Sunday and a Mets loss would send Philadelphia to the playoffs as N.L. East champions. A Phillies loss requires the Mets to do the same to force a one-game playoff for the division. That would be on Monday at Citizens Bank Park.

"San Diego's loss to Milwaukee on Saturday reopened the N.L. Wild Card window, giving Philadelphia a second way in. Should the Phillies win and Padres lose on Sunday, Philly can earn its way without a division title by winning a one-game playoff with San Diego.

"If the Phillies and Mets win Sunday and the Padres lose, it sets up a three-way tie and two possible tiebreaker scenarios."

Doesn't the second paragraph (third here) sort of assume that the Mets would all have been kidnapped by al-Queda overnight? Well, or something. If, given a Philly win and a San Diego loss, the Mets played and lost, the Phils would have won the division; if the Mets won, well, that's explained in paragraph three (four here).

And never mind, anyway, because the Rockies were winning that night and could have won the following day; hooked up, train-like, to a Padres loss and a win by either the Mets or Phillies (but not both, WITH the other losing by forfeit), THIS scenario would have automatically required a chess-boxing tournament among the Mets (or Phillies), the Padres, the Rockies, and Cuba, which HAD been lurking.

Learn more about this author, Rick Soisson.
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