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by Deborah Hedgecock

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As a counselor and psychotherapist I counsel numerous people who are struggling to survive and make sense of being layed off suddenly and without warning from their jobs. In today's job market this phenomenon is happening more and more frequently. In Pasadena, CA alone over the past three months we have experienced more than 2000 people being layed off due to the mortgage industry slump. Earthlink, Countrywide, and IndyMac Bank are just a few of the big names in the corporate world who have been forced to lay off employees, many people with over 10 years of service.

Being layed off from your job can have a wide range of emotional effects on a person. Shock, betrayal, fear, confusion and anger are just a few of the overwhelming feelings people experience from this traumatic event. Some people, who weren't happy with their jobs anyway can have a sense of enormous relief. "Thank God! It finally happened! I hated that job anyway. I'm glad I didn't have to make the decision myself."

Surviving this kind of experience can take time. People often suffer an over powering sense of grief and loss and must go through a period of bereavement before they can force themselves to get out there and begin a new job search. Too lose one's job often means losing one's primary social support system and one's work identity. For people who over identify with their work roles it can be even more traumatic. They actually lose a sense of themselves and who they are as a person. Role confusion and depression can quickly set in and one can become immobilized by fear, anxiety, apathy, and a sense of helplessness. I've known clients who have taken a year to get over the loss of a job they've worked hard at, loved and given their souls too.

Fortunately, there is a cloud with a silver lining in this scenario. Often getting layed off can be the best thing that can happen to some people even though it feels like one's life is over at the time. Job layoffs can be a prelude to a life changing experience; finding the job you always secretly really wanted, a start of your own business enterprise, a new business venture, a better job with better pay and better boss. You could find a more enjoyable work team or work environment. The list of possibilities is endless. It can be a very exciting time, an adventure, if you have the leisure and financial where withal to consider unlimited possibilities. Unfortunately, most of us do not have that luxury, especially if you are a single parent with kids, out there on your own, or living from pay check to paycheck with a mortgage looming in the distance.

The key to surviving a job layoff is to give yourself time to re-assess your situation so that you don't leap forward into a job you'll end up hating by making decisions out of desperation. Also, it is important to surround yourself with your support system. Your support system can be your former co-workers for brainstorming sessions, friends, family, church or synagogue, friends at your favorite coffee shop or Starbucks, your professional organization or Rotary Club, your therapist or other social groups.

It is also important to not take a job layoff personally. It happens to most people if you've been working for any length of time. One of the best books I've ever read that helped me to survive a job loss years ago was "When Smart People Fail" by Hyatt and Gottlieb. One's ego does take a serious blow when these things happen so it's easy to sink into a "Why me? Poor me." mentality if you are not careful. One often feels a loss of self worth, a feeling of inadequacy, and sense of momentary insanity and worthlessness sometimes. If you or your family are counting on your paycheck for survival you don't have the luxury of sitting around for too long feeling sorry for yourself but you can allow it for a few moments. We do need to grieve over these losses, and yes! be angry about it all too. So pound your pillow, scream to the gods about the injustice of it all and then hug your cat, talk to your dog and move on.
Let your friends and former employers (if you are still speaking to them) know that you are in the market again. Keep a record of contacts, names and phone numbers of people you talk to as you begin your job search. Talk to a career counselor if you are thinking of a career change. We often may need to re-invent ourselves and even consider a role change. Or maybe it's time to consider a less stressful, less demanding job role Maybe you will want to move from direct service out of the trenches into management or a supervisory position. Maybe early retirement is a possibility you've thought about but were afraid to take the plunge. Most importantly, talk to your friends, family and support group to explore a whole new range of possibilities. Don't go through this alone. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear about other people's stories and similar experiences. It will be good to know you are not alone. Visit a job resource center in your community. Many have support groups for people in transition. Often your employer will have an employee assistance program that will direct you to professional help if you need it.

Most importantly, don't give up! See this experience as an opportunity to grow and expand your universe, develop new job skills, make new friends, discover a new restaurant in your new work neighborhood, add to your support group or start a new adventure! The opportunities and possibilities are endless and exciting!

The best of luck to your on your continuing journey of self discovery.

Learn more about this author, Deborah Hedgecock.

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