When I think back to my high school days, I recall that I had a lot of friends. We hung out together mostly in a group, sometimes one-on-one, but no matter what, our focus was always in the same direction.

My first experience with outgrowing friendships was when I gave birth to my first child at the age of 21. All my friends were still there, still a major part of my life. They enjoyed my son, spent time with us, proudly proclaimed themselves "aunties".

And then time passed. And they stopped calling quite so often. The visits decreased. As I began to feel isolated, I started to ponder what was going on. What had changed?

Life had changed. I had a child, and they did not. I was immersed in learning how to be a parent, and they were still focused on being single and living the single life. I was a "mommy" and they were not.

Over time I developed new friendships, with people who had children near the same age as mine. We shared common interests, and the friendships developed and flourished.

Again, time passed, and things changed. I continued to have more babies while they did not. Their focus was on older children, while I was juggling the older children as well as the newborn. These friends too passed into my fond memories.

Friendship is based on common interests. As we live our lives, we grow and change. Sometimes we grow and change in the same direction as our friends, but most of the time we branch out in different directions. This is just part of life, and instead of lamenting lost friendships we need to focus on developing new ones.

People change, no matter how hard we try to stay the same. I still am close with one of those high school friends; time has brought us back together after years of drifting apart and our friendship is even deeper now.

Still, I don't regret any of the lost friendships. I ponder over happy memories, and often wonder what paths my friends have taken in their own lifetimes. Each friendship enhanced my life during the time it was important to me. Chalk it up to life experience.

Learn more about this author, Rebecca Dyson.
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