"There must be something I can do," I sobbed to my girlfriend. "I've tried reasoning with him, dragged him to a therapist, threatened divorce and bailed him out of jail. Nothing works. My life is a mess."

"That sounds all too familiar," she said. "I did the same thing and reaped the same results as you have. It's called insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

"So, what did you finally do," I asked.

She gave a crooked little smile. "Nothing."

"Nothing? What do you mean?" She must have divorced him I thought.

"I did nothing more to help him. Instead, I focused on myself and learned how to be contented regardless of his behavior."

"What'd you do, get hypnotized?"

She laughed. "Not hardly. I attend Al-Anon meetings. It's a support group for people who have family or friends who are alcoholics."

"That's all I need," I groaned, "sit around and talk about your drunk husband."

"That's where you're wrong," she countered. "We talk about ourselves, and are given twelve steps to guide us into a healthier lifestyle."

"I'm not sure I understand," I said. "Could you give me an example?"

"Okay," she said, and cleared her throat. For example, step one; Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Think about it. Do you really believe you have power to make your husband stop drinking?"

"Evidently, I don't," I said.

"And didn't you say you life was a mess or unmanageable?"

Again I nodded yes.

"That's why it's called, the first step. It's coming to grips with the fact that you are powerless over people, places and things. The only power you have is the power to change yourself."

"Wow, that's pretty heavy stuff."

THE ABOVE HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO

I took my friend's advice and begin to attend Al-anon meetings. It has given me a richer, fuller life than I could have ever dreamed of. Has my husband stopped drinking? No. It's no longer my problem.

I won't kid you. It was difficult in the beginning. Changing my attitudes and patterns of thinking was hard work. It's a process and it takes time. But Oh, the results are well worth it.

I'm sure there are many ways to combat alcoholism. I chose Al-anon and thank God I did.

Learn more about this author, Carol Gustke.
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