In my 43 years of life, I have dealt with alcoholism at every level. The worst being my husband.

As a child, my father was a weekend alcoholic. He was light hearted, generous, the life of the party when he was drunk. This made alcohol seem so appealing to a young girl who thought daddy set the moon.

So when I met my husband and fell in love with him, I did not see his alcoholism as a problem. It meant he would be all the things my dad was when he was drinking. I was wrong. My husband was a mean drunk. He drank to the point of blacking out and not remembering what he had done the night before. He didn't know why there was a hole in the wall, or why the children stayed in their rooms while he was home.

I took an approach that I believed whole-heartedly would work. I banned alcohol from the house.

At this point, he quit coming home until wee hours in the morning, drunk, angry and abusive still yet. But my reasoning was that at least the kids are usually in bed and I am the only one that has to deal with it.

Needless to say, the children still knew by the late night fights, new holes in the walls, and his lack of memory, even on their birthdays and Christmas.

My white collar husband who made six figures suddenly became ill. His work ethic dropped to nothing, and in sales, attendance is everything. We became unable to pay our bills, so I had to get a job and leave the kids home with Dad.

I gave him an ultimatum, go to an in house detox center, or leave. He refused. I began to go to classes for women with alcoholic husbands. It gave me an outlet, but it offered no help to my husband.

The drinking became worse. The household was in turmoil. I was a wreck, the kids were seeking counseling through school.

That was our turning point.

My daughters guidance counselor turned my husband in to Family and Childrens Services, where they insisted he move out, or I lose our children. His love for our offspring sent him on his way.

He moved in with his parents for a few months until he moved in with one of his high school chums. His drinking once again resumed, with a vengence. He refused to see our kids because he was ashamed at what he had become.

One year later, he died in a single car accident. He was intoxicated.

I don't know how you deal with this, I tried everything I could.

Learn more about this author, Sharon Smith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Coping with an alchoholic spouse ?
We want to hear your view. Write now!