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Friendship drama: How to handle backstabbers

Turn around. Face the problem head on (otherwise known as 'frienemy'), recognize it, and then you can come up with a solution to try to solve it.

The sad reality is sometimes people just stop being friends. It may be differences, imagined slights, jealousy - some people don't know how to handle their emotions, and so they retaliate with pettiness.

The first thing to do is to exaimine the situation. How do you know they are 'back stabbing' you? Did you catch them at it, or just hear about it? If you caught them at it, ask them why. Why do you feel you need to act this way towards me? Say it poliety, and don't be accusatory. People with their deffenses up will not be honest.

The same goes for if it was a rumor. Confront them gently, poliety. Most of the time there is a smaller underlying issue you can solve pretty easily.

"You were flirting with a guy I liked at the bar, that's why I told him you had eight extra nipples removed."

Tell them honestly how you feel. It won't take very long for you to find out if they want to make this friendship work or not. People might tell you they are not worth having as a friend, but everyone makes mistakes. If they were worth it a week ago, then they probably still are (be sure to exaimine the situation though, was it seriously harmful, or criminal?).

Just go with your guts, be honest, and confront it. Frienemies are not worth having when you could dedicate your time to people worth your it.

Learn more about this author, Lucy Anne Stone.
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