by Rex Coker

Created on: September 28, 2007   Last Updated: June 24, 2009

I loved my first wife and in some ways I probably always will to a point . We were married for twenty three years before we divorced. For any one person to say they have never pictured themselves making love to another woman is ridiculous. I think this happens to a lot of married men that have been married a while. I have had wet dreams and never knew why it happened. I loved my wife all those years, but some times to make it a little more exciting for me, I would let my mind wander to some erotic fantasy in the depths of my lustful soul.

My wife was stunning and she was an extraordinary woman. In the words of Rick James " She is a super freak" and we had some pretty wild escapades. It was only when I was tired or sexed out, that I would allow my mind to think of another woman. I can not say this was bad to let happen, it kept me in good terms with my wife. Even though she never knew, she benefited from the thoughts I had. Was it wrong? Probably, but she liked to have sex two and three times a day then. I had to be creative for her sake and there are only so many hours in a day, so we burned that candle at both ends, down the back and up both sides.

Any man that has not done this has not had an active sex life. You can really love someone and have this happen, consciously or unconsciously. It has happened to me, so why lie about it. It kept my sex life hot all those years. Did it happen a lot? Once in a while. It was never an issue to our sex lives. Sometimes we get caught up in the sex act and role playing and that is when we might have a memory pop in to our minds about a girl we once new or had thoughts about. Fantasizing about other women on a regular basis however can become destructive in a marriage if you accidentally scream out the fantasy woman's name.

It is a healthy way of keeping your own interest about sex alive while thinking of past sex partners. Stimulation of the minds chemistry to release certain hormones can be traced back to early man. We see this as wrong for many reasons but it is no different than a man and a woman having more sex partners at a time join them in the act. I would think this to be more unfair than the secret affair in your mind, at least no one gets jealous or offended. Keeping things to your self about what you think about during sex is critical in keeping a healthy relationship.

Having sex with one person while you think about someone else is a natural flaw all men have. It is the taboo side of a man's way of thinking to arouse himself during the act. Through no fault of the woman he is having sex with at the time, the other woman he is thinking about may trigger a different arousal hormones than the partner he is with. Whether it be wrong or right to have this happen to you, the fact to the matter is it does happen and quite frequently.

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