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Satire: President George Bush

State of the Union Address, 2008

copyright 2005, Office of the President and
a pool of anonymous speech writers.
(As seen on the President's teleprompter)

My citizens... fellow citizens... of the United States, Senators, Congressmen and Congresswomen, distinguished guests: welcome.

(STAGE DIRECTION: ARMS SPREAD IN GESTURE OF WELCOME)

And thank you for allowing me to spend some time... some important time... this evening with all of you.

You know, we live in a great country.

(STAGE DIRECTION: SMILE)

The greatest country on the face of the planet and in the whole, entire history of the world. I'm proud to live in this country; to be an American citizen. And I'm prouder still that you all have chosen me to be your president. I'm proud for the courage of our troops, some of whom are seated here tonight.

(STAGE DIRECTION: LOOK UPPER LEFT BALCONY, EXTEND LEFT ARM, DO NOT POINT)

and for the unselfishness of the American people who have spent great time, effort and money in bringing democracy to oppressed nations around the world like Afghanistan. And Iraq. And Libya. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful that God has given me the strength to help lead that effort and the courage to face tough choices, and make hard decisions.

This job of being President requires me to make some hard choices. It requires me to look at the big picture... to see what's really going on in various parts of the world and to make the right choice in defending the American people. We need to be constantly on the lookout for the proliferation of nuculear weapons and other weapons of mass destruction. We need to be vigilant in fighting the "War on terr'r". We need to be able to move quickly and with authority to prevent another tragedy like September 11, 2001 from ever happening in this country.

(STAGE DIRECTION: STRONG)

I will not allow another bunch of murderers and terr'rists to propagate such an horrendous attack on this country.

As I stated, my job... my number 1 job as President is to protect the American people.

(STAGE DIRECTION: STRONG)

We are at war. We face an inhuman enemy that is out to destroy us and our way of life.

(STAGE DIRECTION: NORMAL VOICE)

You need to trust me to fulfill my responsibility to protect the American people. To that end, I am requiring that Congress act quickly to implement the changes that I am going to propose here tonight.

First, and foremost, Congress needs to grant to the President the authority to act as he sees fit in any given situation. The time required to follow proper channels


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Satire: President George Bush

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Satire: President George Bush

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