It took me several years to realize this, but yes; I do have a disability. I have both physical and emotional problems, and since October, 2004, I have been collecting Social Security Disability.

When I first started working thirty years ago, I was a nursing home dietary aide. I had to stand on my feet all day long, and of course, the work was very physical. But now, I can no longer do that type of work. I have arthritis in my knees, I am extremely overweight, and I have difficulty walking. Any job that requires a lot of standing and is way too physical is just simply not for me.

I also cannot handle excessive stress and pressure, especially in some of the outbound telemarketing and market research jobs that I've held. Between the demands of the supervisor to keep up with the required production rate and the constant rejection from the people that I have had to call, I have ended up crying right there on the job.

I also lost two inbound call center jobs because I just couldn't process the calls fast enough; which is simply for the best. Besides that, I had to deal with demanding customers as well, and I just couldn't satisfy each and every single one of their needs. Customer service just didn't turn out to what I had expected it to be.

I will say in defense of my present job in market research; I am very fast when it comes to making outbound calls, my cubicle is right by the ladies room so I won't have to do a lot of walking> The office is also located right across the street from bus stop in a heavily-travelled area, and I only have to take one bus home.

However, most of the work is at night and on the weekends. During the spring and summer, there are threats of, and there have been, thunderstorms; and I've been afraid of thunderstorms ever since I was a kid. Whenever there's the threat of a thunderstorm, and I don't have the money for a cab, I will not come in; it's just as simple as that. I will not stand on a dark street corner in the pouring rain waiting for a bus, and this past summer was no exception.

For example: one Friday night in late July, I got down work after nine o'clock, and it was thundering outside. I had called a cab, but the lines were busy, and I didn't get through for another twenty minutes. When I did, I told them that the building closes up at ten o'clock. When the office manager's husband comes to pick her up, she has to lock up the building. I kept praying ant hoping that the cab would get there before the office manager's husband came. Even though he did come before 10, a co-worker was very kind enough to let me sit in his car until the cab came.

Up until two years ago, I used to get a ride home with a co-worker, but now, there is nobody there who can take me home. I would rather pay $15-$20 for a cab to get me home safe and sound than stand on a dark street corner and get drenched and soaked! And I've even told them that I'm afraid of thunderstorms. It is one fear that I'll never outgrow.

I have decided to put some money aside for next summer just in case there is a thunderstorm and I need to take a cab home; and I won't have to miss work either. I need to do everything that I can in order to keep my job.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Fagan.
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