by J.E. Engel

Created on: September 27, 2007   Last Updated: March 06, 2008

Who are you to judge others?
Let me say first that I know we shouldn't judge other people. Also let me say that I do not like to be judged. Having said that, I also know that I am human. We are taught to judge from little up. We have to be, life would be very dangerous if we didn't learn to judge.

So we tell our children in a language they can understand to look at the situation or the person and decide, or make a judgment. What is the best thing for them? We don't tell them to do what is best for everyone concerned, we say to be careful, watch your step, don't take chances. When they're young and starting to do things on there own, such as start school, we want them to be able to judge for themselves what they should do for their own good. That's basically where judging starts. This is a necessary thing; those are our babies going out into the world.

After they are out there for awhile we begin to realize that they can make their minds up about some things. We've taught them right from wrong and we expect them to judge the situation and make the right call. This type of decision making is not only about situations, it is also about the types of people they come across in their daily lives. Here we still expect them to make the decision or judgment that is best for them. For example, if they see peers that are in gangs we want them to judge what is happening and decide to stay away from such people. We are definitely teaching them to be judgmental. Doesn't this happen to every parent and child, aren't we doing the right thing?

When do we start telling them not to simply judge others? How do we explain to them when they are small that there is a difference? Do we say, okay, I want you to see people for what they are and know when to stay away, but don't make any decisions about them based on the color of their skin, their origin, the clothes they wear, their background or where they live, etc. This is a very complex explanation. How do we teach young people to judge and not to judge?

I'd like to think that people are conscience of what they are thinking and feeling. If not, they should try to observe their thoughts and feelings and see is they are being judgmental without even being aware of it. I don't think we need to change the way we raise our children, but maybe we could change ourselves. Try to see the good in people; try to be aware of how you perceive others and maybe some of the judging we automatically do with disappear.

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