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Parents must be very careful of how they raise their children. A seemingly innocent decision could have repercussions lasting a lifetime for the children. My family had four children; three boys and a girl. The oldest was my brother and he was treated very well by my parents because he was the first born. The youngest was also my brother. He was treated very well because he was the baby of the family. My sister and myself were in the middle. The middle children in some families are quite often ignored by the parents. My sister, however, was treated very well because she was the only girl. I was not so lucky.

My sister, for example, had a room to herself while the three boys shared a smaller room. I accepted that. If the older boys did something wrong, my sister would tell my father. For this, we often got hit with his belt. My sister, however, was never touched. This I could not accept. But I kept quiet.

I remember once when I was talking to my mother and grandmother. My sister began to sing to herself in her upstairs bedroom. That's when my grandmother yelled at me, "SHUT UP!" so they could listen to my sister. I did shut up, but I did learn something that day: my place in the family. I resented how I was treated, but I also resented my younger sister. Again, I kept quiet.

As I grew into an adult, I could not shake the resentment I has for my sister. But I kept things to myself and we got along. Things took an ugly turn, however, when my mother died. She left the house worth thousands to my younger brother and sister, even though I had provided the down payment to my parents years before as a child. But they never offered me a nickel. My sister told me of how she was spending the money at fine restaurants and watching live plays. At the same time, I had trouble feeding my own children. We could not even afford to see a movie. The quiet resentment turned into quiet hatred.

Then one day, over some unrelated argument, I just blew up at my sister. Fifty years of playing second fiddle to her just exploded from me. We have not spoken since and I will probably die before that happens. A decision by my parents to openly treat my sister much better than me caused myself to resent her as a child. This resentment grew into hate later in life. All because of thoughtless parents and myself. A young boy and a man who could not forget and forgive.

Learn more about this author, Gary Betts.
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