by Dorothy Sander

Created on: September 27, 2007

A truly narcissistic person is a person who is incapable of having a relationship. They are not capable of empathy or giving, two things that are necessary in a relationship. We have all known people like this. We try to share a joy or sorrow with them and they either ignore us and move on to something going on in their own lives or they tell us how much more joy or sorrow they are experiencing.

Like any psychological disorder, there are varying degrees of narcissism from the slightly self-centered to the pathological. You can only hope to have a relationship to the extent that the narcissistic person is able. If it is a relative with whom you are required to interact it is helpful to remind yourself that it is their problem and not yours. You can not get from them what they cannot give. You must give up the notion that these people can meet your needs and focus instead on developing relationships with people who can.

If possible choose to eliminate narcissistic people from your day to day life and interact with them only when you feel able to be the one doing the giving. If it is a friend or loved one, you probably want to help them but it is very difficult to help narcissistic people as they believe they do not need help or are smarter than anyone who they might call upon to help. It is therefore extremely difficult to treat. Continue to love them as you are able but love yourself by making sure you have relationships with people who can meet your needs.

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