by Sarah Williams

Created on: September 27, 2007

Being "lovesick" is possibly one of the most painful experiences in life; not only is it manifested mentally, but we feel distinct physical pain as well. I can remember when I lost my first love and there was a moment when I didn't think that I would ever be completely "whole" again, that the tears would ever stop falling and the pain would ever subside...but the good news is that it does.

The first thing to remember when a relationship comes to an end is that it is rarely an one persons fault...there are very few people in the world who intentionally set out to start a relationship only to attempt to make their partner as sad as possible when the break-up comes. Keep in mind that the feelings you are having are natural, the human body is not extremely adept to change when it comes to our emotions, and therefore losing someone who has been a constant in your life is going to take its toll. Here are a few helpful hints that will give you the strength and power to heal the wounds created by a lost love.

Begin by remembering that "dwelling" on a burnt out relationship is natural, but it is not healthy. When we allow ourselves to fall into the rut of constantly thinking about what our Ex is doing, how he/she is with, if they are happy or not, we are in essence squelching our own healing process. The best way to avoid "dwelling" is to fill your life with other things that are meaningful and time consuming. Take that yoga class that you have always wanted to try, get yourself a new pet that you will have to take care of, or join a social group such as a "dance class" or a "book club".

Next you must remember that in order to heal, you must leave the comfort of your couch and your twenty boxes of kleenex! Getting up and out of the house and socializing with other people again is the best way to help your heart realize that there is a possibility that healing might actually happen. Get yourself out there in way of a social network (I'm not talking Myspace, I'm talking an actual physical network where you can connect with people on a face to face level).

Finally, while dating seems to be the hardest thing to think about when you have just lost a love, don't swear it off completely. One should avoid getting into a "serious" relationship too close to a major break-up, but there is nothing healthier than getting out on a date or two to build your confidence and your contacts.

Try not to let the "blues" seep in...while this is difficult, keeping yourself busy is the best way to beat the sadness.

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