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Dating and marriage have similarities, but can be miles apart. It's easy to spend time with someone a few days a week, but are you prepared to spend the rest of your life with that person?

While dating, a lot of time is spent having fun, often in surrounds of the external - movies, dining out, adventurous travel, etc. This can blind some to the reality of marriage and sometimes to the reality of who their partner really is. You can have fun with a lot of people, but who will be by your side in the face of adversity? Marriage can easily include fun, but it also involves the reality of bills, illness, household chores, personal habits and a deeper and lasting commitment. If this is the right person, you won't feel you are settling, but are enhancing your life. A successful marriage is built on a solid foundation. If you don't have a solid foundation while dating, the chance for a successful marriage is slim.

Rules for success:

The best relationship starts with the one you have with yourself. Be the best "you" before entering a marriage.

It's crucial to go slow and get to know the person very well before saying "I do". Your investment in this time will pay off. It takes more than loving someone to have a successful marriage, but genuinely liking the person.

Clearly know why you have the desire to marry this person. Marrying for the wrong reasons will eventually backfire. Don't confuse lust with love. Lust is about you. Love is about the other person and unfolding yourself to another. Don't marry for the thrill of a wedding. The wedding only lasts for a day. Marriage should be for a lifetime.

Communicate openly and honestly. Build your relationship based on transparency, so there are no doubts, nor distrust. Be an open book to your partner. Know when to listen and know when to talk.

Know your partner's expectations, their belief system, what they accept and will not accept within a marriage. Make your needs and wants well known.

Put your relationship first. Don't allow outsiders, outside interests or work to take priority. Make sure your partner knows they are number one in your life.

Don't make your partner feel trapped by being too clingy. Allow personal space and have your own interests and respect that they will have theirs. Togetherness is beautiful, but we all need space at times.

Treat your partner with respect and kindness. Acknowledge the qualities that makes them who you fell in love with. Be supportive and encouraging, building them up. Be by their side as a shelter when they fall.

Make time for each other, no matter how chaotic life sometimes gets. Don't take each other for granted.

Create the type of relationship you want. Make a commitment to making it last.

Realize that no one is perfect, but someone can be perfect for you. If this is the right person for you, every fiber in your being will resound YES!

Learn more about this author, Kathy D.
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