The most unnatural thing on earth is for a child to die before their parent. It flies in the face of all that we know or dream or hope for. The world of a parent who has lost a child will never be the same. Never.
How do we offer support to a person who has lost their child?
First of all, our very presence may provide some comfort. Even our silent presence. Platitudes often exacerbate grief. The stark truth is that we have no idea what God's plan is or if that person is better off or any other glib line that is meant to be comforting. And even if some or all of those things prove to be true in the final analysis, all a parent really wants at that moment is her child right beside her. To be able to sit with someone in their grief or help them through the tasks that initially surround loss is profound.
The other vital thing we have to offer is our ability to listen. Listen to the story of what happened,even repeatedly, to the despair,the hopelessness, the tears.

Many, many people want to offer a way to feel better prematurely simply because to listen is so painful in and of itself. But listening is an act of love and healing.
Nature has a way of beginning to heal people with time. It requires a great deal of being present, an enormous amount of listening, and a lot of patience for nature to begin to do it's work.
There is a life after the death of a child. It is not the life one would have had even though there will be beautiful things in it. And to be a cog in nature's healing wheel by supporting someone in grief is a terrible but beautiful honor.

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