Facing the death of a child is something that no parent should have to deal with, but sadly this world isn't perfect and many do. It causes grief, anger, depression, and a whole host of feelings many can't even begin to comprehend. It isn't something that goes away, or changes over time. If the child was young (and not yet an adult) these feelings can be even greater. There is a feeling of being cheated, sometimes even of guilt (though misplaced), and of heartache for a life that isn't going to grow to it's full potential.

The biggest thing that anyone can do to offer support and to help a grieving family is to be there. To listen when they need to talk, to hold them when they need to be held, to stand by their side and to feel for them. If you haven't gone through it then you can't really understand, but being there is a help. If they don't want you there, be patient, stand in the background and let them know that you are there if they need you.

At all cost ovoid cliches. Don't offer advice about how all things happen for a reason, or that they are in a better place now. It doesn't really help. It doesn't feel like it should have happened, it doesn't feel like they are in a better place and it just hurts. If they want to talk about heaven or better places, or such, that is one thing, but don't try and force them to feel better.

Most of all, don't try and cheer them up. It isn't going to feel like you are trying to help, it will feel like you are trying to undermine their grief, like it doesn't matter and this is something they should move on from.

Time is the only thing to help a wound like this heal. It will never go away and it will always ache, but being there is the best way to support them. Loving them no matter what, no matter how hard it is to be around the grief or if they are doing things you don't think that they should. The death of a child is something that changes a person and injures them deep down, be patient, loving, and willing to be there in whatever capacity that they need.

Learn more about this author, Danelle Karth.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about How to offer support to those who face the death of a child?
We want to hear your view. Write now!