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My husband is a recovering alcoholic, I have lived through so many trials and tribulations in the seven years of married life with him. Here are some of the ways that I have learned to cope with a alcoholic spouse.

First of all, realize that alcoholism is an active addiction. The person who is the "addict" has got to be willing to admit that they do indeed have a problem. In most cases this will not happen before something drastic has happened to make them realize that they truly do have a problem.

My husband and I were "drinking buddies" when we first started dating. It was fun, but soon enough this became a major issue that has impacted both of our lives indefinitely. One night, while we were drinking, we had ran out of alcohol. I went to bed and thought he was coming, I fell asleep. About an hour later I was awakened by the sounds of police, ambulances, and fire trucks. I pulled myself out of bed, walked to the bedroom window. My heart sank and fear overwhelmed my body as I witnessed my vehicle being put onto a rollback completely totaled. I was scared to death. My three children lay sleeping soundly, so I ran downstairs and out of the house. A police officer pulled up and released my husband to me. He went to court and was sentenced to jail. The events continued though.

Years later after continually be faced with dangerous situations(both I and my children), an angry drunken spouse, verbal abuse, constant harassment and very upsetting things like him going to work intoxicated just to deal with co-workers. Something happened that would change our lives forever.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after a suicide attempt from an argument that had taken place over the constant drinking, it became very physical, and police and paramedics were called. I was taken to the hospital fighting for my life. After recovering I vowed to get help for myself. I wanted to better my life and find ways out of this lifestyle. I attended an outpatient rehabilitation for my drinking problem. I then learned how to better my life and how to cope with his constant drinking. I began doing what I was instructed. I quit lecturing him about his drinking, focused on creating a stable life for myself and my children. Started attending AA meetings and encouraged him to attend these with me. It didn't help though.

He went back out and began drinking with his brother and committing crimes, this went on for 2 weeks. He was finally caught by police and spent 14 months in different jails due to his drinking problem and the crimes he had committed under the influence. He finally admitted to having a problem and began seeking help. The 14 months was enough to sober him up. He has begun counseling with a drug and alcohol counselor, he is currently on intense probation with a 10pm curfew, he is required to call his probation officers twice a week and report to the office 1 time per week. He has lost his license for 8 years, and will be on probation for the next 11 years all because of his drinking problem.

If you are not in any danger, continue to encourage your spouse to get help. Do not make it seem as though you are lecturing them though, they will rebel and continue in their disastrous ways. Find a support group, go to Al-anon meetings, and learn all you can about addictions. When they are willing to admit they have a problem, find places they can turn to for help in getting better.

Coping with an alcoholic spouse can tremendously take a toll on you and your family. Always remember to first take care of yourself. If there is an danger in the situation that your in call someone for help. Don't stay there if they are under the influence, argumentative and hostile.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Cook.
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