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Friendship drama: How to handle backstabbers

by ARobs

When I get the latest scoop of gossip and it involves one of my most trusted friends backstabbing me, I automatically want to spill everything I know about them! I want to go into the deepest darkest corners of their lives and unload all of the horrors I know about them. I want to make them suffer as bad as they made me suffer. I want them to regret saying those things about me. I want them to pay! Sometimes...I act on this impulse. You know what that means? They probably weren't that good of a friend in the first place! In the event that I resist that temptation, I'll admit, the next step is the hardest.

After the initial shock and pain what do you do? Do you confront them? Do you store it up in your pain cave? AAAHHHH! It's so frustrating!

Ok, calm down. Pick yourself up off the floor and piece yourself back together. First and most importantly, if it's a relationship that means a lot to you and you are willing to forgive this person, don't retaliate. Don't stoop that low. What you need to do next may be hard and may require a lot of thought before you actually carry through with it but it has to be done. You must must MUST confront the friend before anything else. Maybe they didn't even say it, or maybe it was misconstrewed, or maybe they really did say it and they need a stern talking to.

If this is their first offense you need to let them know what you heard and hear them out. If this is a multiple offense, then what are you doing being friends with this person? If this friendship continues then you are going to be stabbed repeatedly! I've found that the friends I let continue to stab me in the back are the friends that are just friends of convienience. They are the ones I only keep around to stock my entourage and I could really care less what they have to say.

Just remember, a good friend will tell you to your face. If they feel it necessary to go tell everyone BUT you, then might I suggest you shop for a new best friend elsewhere.

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