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A few days ago I was driving home from work and came across this radio station that was discussing the topic. "How to find out if your man is cheating. The 800 or so signs of a cheater."

I was amazed at what I was hearing from the callers, and the author of the book telling how to catch your mate up. It isn't that I disagree with the tactics, or the signs, the problem I have is the concept of investigating at all.

I've often wondered why we go to such extremes to get our feelings hurt. It's like we have a death wish. And more often than not once we find out if the guy is in fact seeing someone else, we don't dismiss him, we seek out the enemy. So what was the point of the investigation? I believe that if you're involved with someone, your first priority is to TRUST them. If you don't have trust, what is your foundation. And believe me, you can't trust your mate, if you're searching for clues of his infidelity.

I've been with my guy for a little over two years now. And believe me, I heard it all when we first got together. "You know he's a player! His profession allows him to pick and choose who he wants. He could have anyone, anywhere, why do you think he picked you?" It went on from people who were very close to me. At first it angered me. I'm like, "What does those comments say about me, and what I have to offer. Like this dude is doing me a favor by being with me, because he can have anyone." Give me a break! Now I just laugh. Over two years later, and now what!

Don't get me wrong now, he definitely is in a position to pick and choose. I'm sure he get's a glimpse of at least 50 tack heads per week gallivanting around trying to get his attention. But I don't fear that. I don't search his cell phone when he leaves the room. I don't go through his things when I'm left alone. I don't question everything he says. I don't accuse him of ridiculous things because I'm insecure. I don't freak out if things don't look like they're going the way I think they should. I just don't do it. Why? Not because I don't think he's capable. Were all capable of cheating. It's because I have confidence in myself and what I offer him. He stands to lose too if this thing ends. I'm a damn good catch. (smile) I don't trip and investigate because I'm a firm believer that if it's meant for me to know, God will definitely bring it to the light. I don't have to pull out my forensic science fake degree and start taking hair fibers, and DNA samples to catch him up.

And you know what? He doesn't

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