1 of 94

Helpful

Write now Article Tools

Competition is a part of life and something all of us have to deal with on a daily basis if we are going to be a part of society. I listened to parents argue the validity of competition for their children for years. As a parent and grandparent I feel that we are doing a disservice to our children if we try to eliminate all competition from their lives. Our children need to learn how to be gracious winners and losers. And we need to help them understand that losing at something does not mean they are a failure.

Handled properly competition helps bring out the best in us. Whether you're competing in sports, for a writing prized, a higher position in the school band, or just for a grade; competition puts extra effort into our endeavors. And we can learn from losing or failing at something, the value of picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off, and trying again. I think the real problem comes not with winning; but from the unfortunate emphasis that has been put on failure in today's society. Failure in and of itself is not bad; its how we learn to handle failure that actually causes the problems. Each of fails at different things in life and most of us will eventually succeed at a number of things if we keep trying and don't give up on ourselves.

And this is where parents, teachers, counselors, etc can help or hinder our children's efforts. If we consistently deride a child's attempts at learning, sports, or any other activity we are contributing to the creation of an individual who eventually quits trying at anything. In effect we are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're made fun of enough, or you're told you're worthless, or your efforts/attempts at success are meaningless; you eventually will quit really trying. And you fall into the mindset of doing just enough to get by, and hopefully slide under the radar. Your goal becomes simply getting through life while being noticed or singled out as little as possible. But, if we as adults point out the value of trying and of constantly putting your best work into a project, sporting activity, etc we can do a lot to help a child/young person build self esteem.

Look at the number of historic figures who have suffered numerous failures prior to succeeding in life. George Washington suffered a severe defeat in the French and Indian Wars at Fort Defiance and at numerous battles in the Revolutionary War. Yet, he eventually led the rebels to victory at Yorktown and became the first President of the United States under our current Constitution. Abraham Lincoln failed as a storekeeper and was only a marginal success as a lawyer, yet he became possibly the greatest President this country has had. George Washington Carver and Booker T. Washington overcame their origins as slaves and became world renowned scientist and educator. And the list goes on and on. Each of these individuals could have given up after failing a few times and faded into obscurity, instead they persevered and we remember their accomplishments and not their failures.

Its our responsibility to help our children develop that positive attitude. Offer encouragement when they fail at something. Help them see how possibly doing something just a little differently could have led to success. Offer praise for their efforts and help them to see what they've learned in their attempt. In this way we can not only help our children learn from the competition they face in school and on the playing field; but help them prepare for life as contributing adults.

Learn more about this author, Arthur Gibson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Is competition in school helpful or harmful to the students??
We want to hear your view. Write now!