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on the same income, communication of what's important to each person comes down to making some tough decisions based on personal values. Which is more important - the new dress or the new golf clubs? Maybe you can afford both? Or neither. Make the decisions together as a team so you know you aren't working against each other: the "I-save-while-you-spend-game."

Some things are non-negotiable. You must make mortgage payments or pay rent; you must pay taxes; you must buy food.

Scrutinize the expenditures column.

You might be willing to give up some little things like those daily machine-bought sodas or lottery tickets or you could take a healthy lunch to work instead of eating fast foods all the time. Maybe you could be motivated to give up that pack-a-day of cigarettes if you know that extra $100/month could go towards that dream vacation together.

Make money work for you. Put some aside for yourselves every month, whether it's $10 or $1000. It will give you a sense of satisfaction and security.

Get rid of credit card debt ASAP. It's like quicksand to a budget. Pay off your cards and destroy all but one to be used for emergencies. Avoid temptation.

Unless you're earning a lot more than you're spending, you will probably find it better to use cash, not plastic. Pay as you go and you'll know you can afford the ride.

Avoid the big spiking bills, like heating or cooling costs, by going on a 12-month equal pay plan.

Make automatic payments for necessary items from your checking or savings accounts. You will save time and postage; you will avoid late fees or a missed payment.

For free professional help, check out the non-profit Consumer Credit Counseling Services at www.nfcc.com or call the National Foundation at (800) 388-2227. For a very low fee (0 to $20 per month), they can consolidate your debts and create a budget for you. CCCS can often bargain with creditors and get interest rates eliminated. One of their office managers says the average debt they handle is $22,000 and they help clients pay that off in about 3.5 years.

Owning things is a big responsibility. It can mean more costs for storage, extended warranties, replacement parts, alarm systems, etc. Some families are happier when they get rid of a lot of unnecessary stuff. Simplify your lives.

Money can make dreams come true or turn daily living into a nightmare. Learn to manage money and you'll find yourselves going with the flow, not against it.

Learn more about this author, Karon Brandt.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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