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As a single parent of three children, so many well meaning friends and neighbors ask how I "do it all!" I find this ironic, funny, and sometimes, frustrating. The fact is: I do not do it all and I certainly do not do it all alone.

As a widow, my single parent status came as quite a shock. I did not grow into this role, nor did I choose this position. I have had to accept the unacceptable. Friends and family have been quite supportive, each in their own way and bringing their unique gifts to our family unit. They have taught me many valuable lessons.

The first lesson, though, was what my own children taught me. I am the captain of our "ship" because their Dad chose me! Their faith and confidence in my position, their implicit trust in me and the fact that, yes, I am qualified, was one of the most important gifts I was given.

Another important lesson came from friends: "Do not put the children's wants above your needs." They may want candy, but parents (and children, too) need nutrition. This trickles over into prioritizing so many other things, too, in life. So many things are unnecessary to genuine happiness. After all, what children need and want most is our time.

Family added the diversions that only Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and Grandparents could provide. We have been very fortunate in that my husband's family and friends continue to be strong and steadfast pillars in our lives. They actually make me look good by propping me up when I shake.

Finally, a deep trust in the Divine has been a wellspring of strength. Knowing I must have a destiny to fulfill, and that there is One looking after us through all the ups and downs has been a great comfort. My trust in the Divine also helps me to remember that I do not have to do it all and that I do not have to do it all alone!

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