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In hindsight

When I was a kid, I spend all my free time either playing outside or reading books. My parents simply didn't think that I need more extra-curricular activities. The only exception happened when I was in grade one, and my mom decided that I have to learn to play piano. However, after one year I closed the scores and told my parents that I was tired. The teacher confirmed that "the kid simply does not have musical talent", and I was free to continue reading my books.

Well, where did it get me in my adult life? I do miss music education,and many times I wish I knew how to paint. Even though I enjoy sports, my attempts in all of them are very amateurish. Whatever I know I taught myself, sometimes from the very same books!. All this is said not to blame my parents - they did have their reasons, but many times I wish they simply made me go to art school, music school or swimming lessons so I'll feel less inadequate today.

To add to this: my current tendency to procrastinate and to do a lot of things in the very last second is to some extent due to the fact, that I didn't learn time management skills when I was kid. I often see that kids who have to plan their activities ("school work is done before you go to the dancing class") are doing better in high school and are less stressed out for time in college. When kids need to plan their time and to schedule time for activities and studies, they learn very useful skill, which stays with them for the whole life.

Present
Obviously, past influences our present decisions. I admit, that even though I am trying to achieve a balance in my daughter's activities, I belong to the camp of "eternal chauffeurs" that move kids from one activity to another.

She, probably, will not be a world champion in any sport, but I do like her to be physically active and learn some skills (tennis, skating, swimming, skiing) at least on the basic level. Most of these skills are learned better and faster when you are young; everybody who learned to roller skate or ride bike at mature age will agree with me. So, if my daughter has two-three activities every term and is busy 3-4 days a week, we still have the rest of the week to watch TV together, go to the park or read the book. When I see that she learned enough to enjoy the sport, but is not overly interested in pursuing it further, I let her drop the activity. So, she continues with dancing (twice a week) because she loves it and I do make her to stay in tennis, at least till the time when she'll learn the basics. She does have a small time allotment for computer and TV, and finds time to read two-three books a week.

On the other hand, as much as I would like her to play some musical instrument, she is not interested (and with my genes, she'll have to work really hard to get to some level of proficiency!). So, even though generally I believe in the "well-rounded" education, it's not worth to push kids' activities in the direction that they are absolutely not interested.

In the end, I believe that children should be exposed to as many activities as they want, plus a little bit more, if their interests are only in one area. In order to discover the new skill or life passion, kids should be exposed to it. Most children occasionally say that they would rather spend time in front of TV (computer) or with their friends. I think that the parents should push the kids a little bit, before kids actually discover what they like and what they want to do. In this case, when they are teenagers, they would have an opportunity to choose between chess and arts (or tennis versus dancing), instead of strolling in the mall versus strolling on the street.

Well, at least this is what I am trying to achieve. Time will show.

Learn more about this author, Elena Yampolsky.
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