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I am the eldest of 5 children in the family. All of us kids had a very joyful and memorable childhood. My father and mother took good care of us, and we were a very close-knitted family.

When I was 18 years old, it was time for me to leave home. I had to fly to another country to pursue university degree. It was tough. I had a fear of letting go of my cosy home, my family of 18 years. I had to leave behind my parents, and my 4 siblings; and fly overseas, to an unknown country all by myself. It was so difficult at that time for me to let go. I had to say good bye to mom and dad, and to my 4 younger siblings. It was a very emotional moment for us, parents and children, with lots of hugs and tears.

Fast-forwarding, it has been 16 years since that day at the airport. I am now 34 years old. I have graduated, returned home 10 years ago, got a good job, married my husband, and now a mother to a 2-year-old daughter. My parents are still working, two of my siblings are now married and two working overseas.

There are times where I would reflect on the good old days and ponder about the future. As a mother now, I would imagine the day where my little daughter would have to leave the nest too. She would be flapping her wings, in pursuance of her higher education, her career, and her life. She would get married to the man of her dreams, and have her own family. At times when that thought comes, I would shiver. I don't know if I can handle it emotionally when the day comes. I guess I am afraid that I can't let go. My fear of allowing my precious daughter growing up to be independent, spreading her wings and fly away, not needing me anymore.

I can now comprehend with the emotions that my mother had to go through when I left home at 18 years old. My mother was such a strong woman. She held and comforted me, and told me she loved me. No matter how much she would have missed me, she overcame her fear and let me go to pursue my future. She trusted me to take care of myself; that I would be just fine although I was far away from home. She told me that she and father are still there for me, no matter how far apart we are physically. My parents did that not just for me, but for all of us five siblings. That was what we call, parents love. They treated me exactly the way one flies a kite. They let me fly independently, and yet whenever I got stirred to the wrong track, they would pull me back to the right path, gently.

It takes a lot of courage to let go of our children. Today I thank my parents for not holding me back. They gave me the trust and freedom to build my own life. As much as I am terrified, I suppose I must take my parents as role-models and overcome my fear of letting my child grow up on her own. My daughter is only 2 years old now. I guess I might just as well enjoy the process of bringing her up, rather than worrying about her leaving the nest when she's a young lady.

Learn more about this author, Charine T. Cheah.
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