by Carmi Turchick

Created on: September 19, 2007

There are advantages and disadvantages to online dating, but a careful person can get past the disadvantages.

Online romance gives you the huge advantage of time, time to get to know someone before you meet them in person. I met my wife online and it was six months before our first kiss. This gets one past a whole slew of common problems in modern dating; all of the doubts about whether the man just wants to get laid, questions about when to make a move, questions about whether you will have enough to talk about, questions about whether there is more there than just physical attraction.

Compare online dating to meeting someone in a bar. In a bar you know basically nothing about the person and how compatible you are, you just know that you find them attractive. You have to act now, right now, or nothing will come of it. So you get their phone number, call them and go on a date. If things go well you have a good time on a series of dates, dancing, eating out, movies and so on. When not having such fun you have lots of sex, not a bad thing but it keeps you from really talking to each other.

All fine and fun but it tells you not so much about whether you will have fun in daily life together. And you spend less time communicating with each other than you would in an online romance.

If you can have a marvelous time sitting in a room by yourself IM'ing with someone for eight hours straight, over and over, then you really have something. Then you know you will have a fabulous time doing anything and everything together. If you grow to truly love each other before you meet then you know it is not just about the sex or the physical attraction.

The other great advantage is that you can start relationships with a base of knowledge from the person's profile. Yes, they can lie but most do not. Many sites help you know how good a match you will be with a person too. You can see what people are interested in and get a sense of the person from how they write even if they are telling tall tales.

The big issue of course is people pretending to be what they are not. Take your time! Things will become clear if you look closely. Talk about TV shows and so on...what did they watch as kids? What bands did they like growing up? These answers tell your age well in many cases.

The bar person can lie about everything, including their age, but you get a real visual experience and that can tell you a lot. Online you get more information of every other kind but it is easy to lie about who you are and what you look like. On the other hand, with a webcam it is easy to verify age and appearance. Use one fairly early on so you can both relax.

A recent study showed that people who met their partners online were more satisfied with their relationship, on average, than those who met in other ways. Find the perfect person for you, like I did, online.

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