3 of 22

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

concerned. This means keeping a calendar of who had the kids on which dates and for what periods of time. Did your ex- have guests overnight while the kids were present? Were alcohol or drugs consumed in the presence of your children? Was there any violent behavior reported by your kids? Are your kids afraid of the other parent? Are they verbally or physically abused while on his/her premises? Or, are they left alone or unsupervised for extended periods or left with irresponsible babysitters? What seems like a somewhat minor incident may actually add up to a strong defense in court if these minor incidents are frequently occurring during visitations.

Also, if you have been threatened by your ex-, it's important to request a restraining order: this will carry weight in court and demonstrate obsessive-compulsive behavior. Not to mention, it is important to maintain your and your children's safety as many people spiral out-of-control in a divorce situation.

One of the most important steps you can take is hiring a good attorney. If you have children, make sure that your divorce attorney not only has experience with divorce proceedings but also with child custody hearings in the event you have to face that battle later. It' much more difficult to switch attorneys later and bring the newly hired counsel up-to-speed on your case. It will save you time and money later if you choose wisely in the beginning. Make sure it's someone with experience but also who will return phone calls and be available when you need him or her.

My ex- refused to inform me of travel plans before taking my son out-of-state for a 2-week vacation once. Needless to say, my attorney became involved and my ex- realized very quickly that this information has to be communicated in order to avoid legal problems and it only took my attorney one phone call to resolve the situation.

Lastly, a word of caution to you. Remember I started this discussion by telling you that over time, all things change. You may not like your ex's new girlfriend or boyfriend and want to limit the time your kids have with this person by trying to take extreme action but remember that a year from now the tables could be turned. Your children's health and well-being should always be at the forefront of any actions. Do things to benefit them, not only yourself. Try to find a peaceful, healthy solution for all involved. Divorce hits children the hardest and they never fully recover. Don't make it any more difficult for them than it has to be. Most children love both parents unconditionally. As they grow older they learn each of your faults and love you anyway. Try to help your kids live a happy life with both parents.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Zorn.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Preparing for child custody battles?
We want to hear your view. Write now!