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Whether you are divorcing amicably or in the midst of war, if you have children there is one important thing to remember: all things change over time. I hate to be the bearer of this depressing news, but unfortunately, you must start preparing for a custody battle day one of your divorce. It may never come to pass, but if you don't take some proactive steps, you may find yourself defenseless if a "friendly" divorce suddenly goes awry. And don't think this can't happen to you. It may be as simple as your ex- feeling jealousy once you begin dating again and using your children for leverage. While this is highly immoral, I've seen it done repeatedly so keep an open mind and take some steps now to ensure you and your kids aren't ripped apart in court. Thus, the first step in preparing for child custody battles is to stop the denial and accept that this is happening to you (or could happen in the future).

We all want to believe that the person we married is good at the core and would never do anything to intentionally hurt us or steal our life as a parent but divorce brings out the worst in people and sometimes makes them do things even they thought they would never do. The pain of divorce is paralyzing and we tend to want to wallow in our sadness, sometimes for years. So, oftentimes a divorced parent is caught off-guard when sued for custody of his or her child. Stay alert and watch for warning signs that your ex- is moving in that direction. Listen for leading comments such as "The kids would get better grades if you helped them more with their homework" or "I don't think they should be watching those kinds of movies" or "I can get the kids to school on time everyday: why can't you?", etc. Your ex- may be telling you something. I'm not saying you have to change your behavior because you're afraid your ex- may take you to court, but it would be a good idea to keep some notes on these things. If you were late to school because your child scraped her knee on the way out the door and you had to clean and bandage it before leaving the house, then having that information documented may help later. If you're not good at math but have arranged for the teacher to assist your child after school three days a week, then no worries. But your documentation will keep your ex-from trying to glorify little "nothings".

Should you be faced with a child custody hearing, your best defense is a good offense. So, it is very important to document as much as possible where the kids are

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