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I am 34 years old and have never gotten along with my mother. As far back as I can remember there have been things that just never seemed right. I used to blame myself for it, thinking that I was bad or that I was not really what she wanted. Then as I grew up I started noticing things that made me realize that it was not me! It was her. I noticed that she lives in her own little world of denial. Pretending that everything was just peaches-n-cream, so to speak. She wants to blame everyone else for her mistakes and has never been able to admit when she is wrong. I know that I have not been the perfect daughter but I also know that I have tried to fix things over and over again until I finally gave up. I have to admit that there are plenty of things that she has done that has cut me in the past and still do, but I have learned to live with it and go on. However, since I had my children I see that it will not stop with me. She has moved on to insult and degrade my children. I have paid for the abuse and neglect from dealing with her all these years. But I can't sit back and let her treat my kids like they are worthless garbage to be discarded so easily.

She has commented on my youngest weight and has even had the gull to tell me that I should get my 14 year old fixed because she has ADHD. I about went through the roof on that one. I know that not everyone gets along with their family and their are even those who have mother problems like me. So I would like to give all of you out there some advise when it comes to having a bad mother.
It is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You do have choices though, you can keep wasting your time trying to make her happy and earn her respect and admiration which just so you know, you will never get from her. She will never change and you will never be anything but a big disappointment to her. The second choice is to just stop. Stop trying to live your life to making her happy because it will only make you miserable and that is the only thing she wants.
You must live your own life. Be yourself and be happy with who you and what you are. I will always be nothing but something for her to gossip about and to always be that one big disappointment. But I will be myself and live my own life. I will also be happy and that is what counts.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Kerrick.
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