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Budgeting means controlling your money and not letting it control you. Money = Power. Lack of money has broken up marriages and has driven people to suicide.

Everyone needs to budget. The days of easy credit are over. Becoming self-sufficient and self-reliant requires discipline, common sense, and commitment. We did not inherit those traits, but many of us were fortunate enough to have parents who set good examples: pay as you go; stick to a reasonable budget; learn to go without until you can afford it.

Pay yourself first, whether it's $10 or $1000 per month. This is one lifelong habit that will serve you well. Once you've mastered balancing a budget, you should be able to invest and make money work for you.

If this is to be a team effort, you must discuss priorities, core values and common goals. Money has a lot of emotional baggage connected to it.

Start with a visual aid. By seeing exactly where your money goes, you can better control its flow. You can download a budget work sheet from http://www.myfinancialgoals.or g/_assets/docs/budgeting/month lybudgetform.pdf.

This aid offers a valuable, detailed list: housing, utilities, food, auto, health, etc. Don't overlook things like babysitting, subscriptions, gifts, pet costs, tobacco, etc. You can fine-tune this for your own use. Do this in pencil because it's made to be changed.

Many people cut corners with food, but in the wrong way. We are what we eat. Many half-hearted budgeters really don't know how much they spend on food. Save your grocery receipts for 3 or 4 months. Break down the numbers into categories: food, non-food, and miscellaneous. (When I averaged this out over 8 months, I was quite surprised. I did it again over 8 months and the numbers were surprisingly similar. Now, I don't need to do it on paper any more. Food habits seem to stay the same, long-term.)

"Food" should include fast food brought in and dinners eaten out - unless that counts as "Entertainment" - but count it somewhere. Try to surround yourself with healthy foods and you won't sabotage your good intentions. You will feel better, also. Carry healthy snacks along for yourself and the kids; avoid unnecessary stops for fast foods and junk food machines.

Food savers. Join a warehouse store like Sam's Club if the $35 annual fee seems reasonable. Buy an extra (used?) refrigerator/freezer to stock up on sale and bulk food items. Share with another family member/friend or start a co-op and divide large quantities of food so that you get more quantity for less cost.

Use coupons, if it's worth your time. Buy bulk quantities of paper goods, frozen items, canned goods, and other non-perishables when they're on sale. Watch several local stores and stock up when your favorite items are on sale.

Make your work sheet as accurate as possible; try to account for every dollar in the beginning.

Scrutinize your work sheet. Some items are non-negotiable. Eliminate unnecessary items.

Balancing a budget helps you to live within your means. Your monthly "Expenditures" column should amount to less than your monthly net "Income" column.

If you're breaking even, figure out how to save more for unexpected expenses. If you have money leftover, immediately put it into savings.

If you cannot afford essentials without credit, you really should get some professional help before you sink too far into debt. Check out the National Foundation for Credit Counseling for free help at http://www.nfcc.com or phone: (800) 388-2227. Consider them if you're deeply in debt, say $20,000. For a very small fee, of zero to $20/month, they will consolidate debts and help you to create an effective budget.

Get motivated by looking to future rewards: extra schooling, a special vacation, early retirement. It's much easier to "sacrifice" when you have bigger goals in mind.

Credit cards sabotage budgets. If you know that a $1000 debt, with an 18% APR, will take you almost 9.5 years to pay off, (paying the minimum $25/mo.) and the interest will be $925, you might re-think whether that initial purchase is worthwhile. Pay off items with the highest interest rates first. ASAP, pay off all credit cards and destroy them.

You already know hundreds of everyday ways to save money, but you might not have tried them, or you have family members who sabotage the budget because they aren't motivated to make it work.

Offer incremental rewards with savings: an extra treat for a youngster, a dinner out for the family, a new TV. Get the whole family to act like a team and save on utilities: take shorter showers, lower the thermostat in winter and raise it in the summer, use compact fluorescent bulbs all around the house, don't overuse vent fans. Insulate your home better, fix faucet leaks, open draperies to catch sunlight and close at night to avoid heat loss.

Replace old appliances, as needed, with new, energy efficient ones. Replacing an old furnace with a new system will save energy and could pay for itself in five to seven years.

Think long-term gains. If you own your home, improvements that make your life more comfortable can also add resale value to your home. Replace a roof, update a kitchen or bath, do home-maintenance as needed.

Look into a package deal for Internet services, phones and TV's. Save fuel costs by making multiple stops in one trip; car pool; take turns picking up kids at school; buy a smaller car or a motorcycle. Cycles can get 90 mpg. Sell one, little-used car. Be practical. Think creatively.

Save on just about anything by not buying everything new. Shop at auctions, wholesale stores, yard sales, thrift shops, and secondhand stores for toys, books, clothing (20 to 25 items for $100 at Good Will stores), and household items like furniture, mirrors, desks, lamps, etc.

For new items, do some comparison-shopping on-line for the best values at www.Overstock.com, www.SmartBargains.com, or www.Shopzilla.com. Many stores offer free shipping and charge no tax for out-of-state purchases. Save gas, time and check-out hassles.

Watch for sales and buy ahead of time for future gifts for birthdays, weddings, anniversary gifts, and Christmas.

To avoid spiking costs that throw your budget out of whack, arrange for monthly equal-payment plans for companies that offer it. Use automatic monthly pay plans: avoid late fees. You can't spend money you don't handle.

Re-think priorities if you want to live debt-free, which is its own reward. Sticking to a budget will make you feel like you're in control of your money and your life.

Money is Power. Take control.

Learn more about this author, Karon Brandt.
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