by Rebecca Miller

Created on: September 17, 2007

Working in retail I have witnessed first hand some of the most embarrassing aspects of fashion.

Whether it be the older woman dressing too young or the younger woman dressing too old. Clothes too tight, too short or just too ghastly.

Some disasters are just too shocking to not stare at, and I can remember one such instance.

I believe it was last summer, the weather was quite warm and I was stood in the quiet shop and happened to stare out of the door. Across the street, crossing the road towards me were a couple. Nothing unusual about that, but what caught my eye first was the age difference. The man was older, maybe in his fifties and slightly overweight. Hanging onto his arm was a much younger woman, possibly in her late twenties although she could have passed for older. Starting at her head she had bleached blonde hair that was tied up in what can be described as a pineapple. Where the hair is tied so far up on top of the head that it gives the impression of the shape of a 'pineapple.' She wasn't a natural blonde, this was given away by the thick black eyebrows on her forehead. Now I don't remember much of what she was wearing on her top half, you'll understand why in a moment. It was maybe some kind of strappy vest. I can't be sure because moving further down her body I experienced the scariest fashion episode in my lifetime. The woman was wearing a denim skirt, quite a high waisted one. Either that or it was actually too small to fit anywhere further down then her waist. As well as sitting high on her waist it was also very short. So short in fact that it didn't even cover her nether regions leaving her exposed. Now if you or I were wearing such a short skirt (I have a feeling we wouldn't) but for arguments sake, lets say we were. If upon wearing said skirt that was so short it was exposing you, you'd think you would at the very least put on some kind of undergarment. But no, there was no undergarment there. The lady was going commando!

I couldn't help but stare. It was like watching a car crash unfold before you. It all happened in slow motion. I watched her walk towards me, my eyes at the front of her skirt where I could almost see her 'modesty.' As they walked down the side of the shop I went to the door to watch them walk away from me and saw the bottom of her bum cheeks exposed to me. In fact what I witnessed that day was not unlike the recent outfit that Britney Spears was seen out in public in. The top she was wearing like a dress.

Surely this woman must have looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the house. Or could it be possible she just checked the front view and not the back. I dread to think what would happen if she tried to sit down.

We all joke about calling the fashion police, but in some instances I really do wish they existed.

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