Reluctant or Not, Here I Come

At our annual family picnic, I arrived, with screaming baby in hand. We'd been stuck in traffic for over an hour. My baby hates riding in the car especially when it's stopped, or barely moving.

News of my struggles as a first time mother had circulated over the last two months, so the baby "experts" of the family stood by ready and waiting to swoop.See, not only am I a "new" mother, which presents its own set of challenges, but I'm also a reluctant mother who doesn't know anything about babies.

So back to screaming baby in hand.

There I was-or, there WE were-surrounded by great food and I was starving, but I knew the baby was hungry so I settled into the nearest chair and stuck the bottle in her mouth. She took to it easily and quieted. Everything was going fine, except for me being hungry, but no matter. Silence is precious.

Then my mother insisted that I should eat, and that she would hold the baby (not genuine concern for my hunger, just a ploy to hold the baby).Well, that arrangement didn't go over well with little Mia. She immediately recommenced the screaming. She was inconsolable. But I was urged by the experts to ignore it and enjoy my meal, although by that point, nobody was enjoying anything anymore. Being younger than them all, not to mention being very underqualified to be handling a baby, I hesitantly complied.

The baby experts pulled every trick from their sleeves. But Mia just kept screaming and screaming. And screaming.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I approached the huddle, feeling almost like a trespasser, though it was my property they were holding.

"Here, let me try." I reached to take my baby from where she was being bounced, stomach down, across an aunt's knee-a position I know she hates-and the aunt insisting she's screaming due to gas.But I know better. I may not know babies, but I know MY baby. I picked Mia up, sat down and offered her the bottle again, despite being told that she didn't want it.
Mia instantly relaxed and began eating. There was an exclamation of wonderment from the huddle. They were so surprised.

"Well, look at that!"

"Huh. Maybe she really was hungry."

"She must have really worked up a hunger with all that screaming."

I was surprised too. Not that she was hungry, but surprised that despite my reluctance, inexperience and complete incompetence with babies, my baby prefers my touch to anyone else's. It was the first time I realized that my baby prefers ME. And for my baby, it may have been the first time she realized she prefers me too. Maybe I wasn't the only one who has felt reluctant in this new relationship.

Learn more about this author, Kristin Dorsett.
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