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I was raised by parents who believed that if the behavior warranted it, spanking was appropriate. Dad was the real disciplinarian. I got the belt from him three times in my life and I remember each one; destroying property, forging a check, and shoplifting. To the people who do not believe in spanking, let my say this; I NEVER did those things again! I also want to mention that each time my father held me and cried after it was over. To this day I love my father deeply and hold no resentment against they way he disciplined me. In fact, I think I am better for it.

I am now 38 with three boys of my own. They are 12, 10, and 4. My wife doesn't believe in spanking at all, so I can't do it. Our boys fight with each other daily, they talk back, they argue, they yell, they destroy things, they hit each other, they tease each other, they won't share anything, they whine and cry until they get what they want (from her, not me), they lie, they steal (not the 4 year old), and they have no respect for me or their mother. Let me tell you from experience, and I can only hope the are some "Child Behavior Specialists" that read this, time outs DO NOT WORK! Taking away privileges DOES NOT WORK. Grounding hasn't done anything to change their behavior. I have not given them an allowance for over a year, explaining that when they learn to behave properly they will get it back. It's been a year without change. Tell me, what other alternative is there? What else can be done to make them understand that this behavior is not acceptable and if it continues they will have problems the rest of their life? If they are told to clean their room or take out the trash, they say "No". That won't cut it when they get a job. They can't tell the boss "No", or tell them "It's not fair" without losing their job. When one brother angers the other, there is usually physical contact. In real life that's assault. They will go to jail.

All of these passive alternatives to discipline are bogus. I have tried them and they don't work. Every day I listen to these boys fight and argue and yell at their mother who just yells back. I just sit hear wondering how could it come to this? There wasn't yelling or hitting or selfishness in my family growing up. But these things are part of my life everyday now. I explain to my boys that this behavior is wrong. They say, "Whatever. Leave me alone."

I have not done the research, but I would like to see if there are any studies that have been done on juvenile crime. I would like to see the crime rate among teens back in the 80's when spanking was okay compared to the teen crime rate today since other people have decided how we are allowed to discipline our children.

Learn more about this author, Joseph Hiller.
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