by Pam Hilts

Created on: September 15, 2007

All good parents work themselves out of a job. The debate begins when we consider how to best do that. Todays world is filled with incalculable quantities of gratuitous violence, casual sex, and street drugs. Long gone are the days when, on the Dick VanDyke Show, the married couple were required to be seen in a bedroom with separate beds! Even our cartoons are steeped with sexual overtones. Take a close look at the little mermaid and compare this caricature with her long-time counter part mini-mouse. This bombardment of images do affect our children and to think otherwise is born of either a lack of eduction or an abundance of naivety.

During the formative years children should be shielded, in the most restrictive way possible, from popular culture and television. I applaud the parents with the courage to remove televisions from their homes. By shielding impressionable youngsters from these outside influences will allow your modeling and parenting style to have a more sustaining impact on your child.

If you feel that exposing children to terrifying news stories, shows packed with super-skinny women, casual sex and frequent violent acts is necessary because that is how the "real" world is, I would beg to disagree. Exposure to these things does not help your child grow into a strong, independent person.

Building a strong adult is created by building self-esteem, critical thinking skills, and a strong internal moral value system.

Real self-esteem comes through real accomplishments. Depression and obesity have become a runaway plague for our children. Sports or other physical activities are a partial solution. Competitive if it suits you and your child is great. There are other pursuits such as dancing or a local children's theater that offers opportunities for performance and the accolades that come with those performances. Another non-competitive, performance based activity is music. How about spelling bees? Writing contests for children? Craft classes that produce a item that is truly lovely!

Critical thinking comes from teaching your child to question everything, even authority. There is nothing that should prohibit any individual, regardless of age, from questioning those things that attempt to manipulate our behavior. This includes everything from advertisements to the police. It leaves plenty of room to question the authority and then come to the conclusion that the authority is reasonable. Talk about critical thinking skill! Try this one on your 13

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