I think it was the second year of middle school when I found my first love. He was the new kid, all quiet and sullen. I was a cheerful girl with a twist of shyness. My first effort of contact was a childish address book, which was a trend at the time. It was passed around during class from one classmate to another. But when it reached his hands, it was completely ignored. Months later, a love story evolved my first relationship. But it didn't go as beautifully as I had planned. It didn't have a happy ending like the fairytales I so often read. Graduation came, and we parted to different cities, where we lost contact.

Years passed, and I'm now in a loving relationship with the most wonderful man. But once in a while, the thought of my first love pops into my head. Sometimes I wonder if he's really my first love. Doesn't he fit the typical criteria for a first love? First love never dies, people say.

Over the years, I realized that he stays in my head because I still wonder about the could-have-beens'. Maybe he's so perfect to me, because he's untouchable. He lives in my head the way I remember him to be, the way I want him to be. And that's why he'll never be real for me. He'll never be forgotten, but he sure won't be another regret...

Learn more about this author, Annisa Laksmintari.
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