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HUMOR: When George W. Bush leaves the White House, he will not just fade away. He has many plans for an active and productive life as ex-President. For instance, he will:

1. Short-sheet all the beds in the White House to surprise the new President.

2. Go hunting with the former Vice President, and give Dick Cheney a hundred-yard start before he begins firing.

3. Return to his Texas ranch and punch cattle, which will be a great relief to the bruised and battered Laura.

4. Choose all the books for the Bush library, making sure each one comes with coloring pencils.

5. Volunteer to teach public speaking, with specialties on how to say nuclear, and not to confuse Australia with Austria.

6. Fly away with Ann Coulter, but suffer a serious injury when he falls off her broom.

7. After 40 years of being AWOL, Air Force Reserve Lieutenant Bush will volunteer to fly missions in Vietnam.

8. Join Jimmy Carter as a carpenter at Habitat For Humanity, where they'll take turns hammering each other's head for the stupid mistakes they made as President.

9. Appear on both Leno and Letterman late night TV programs to announce support for his brother Jeb Bush's campaign for President in 2012 and Laura Bush in 2016.

10. Land on his father's boat in Kennebunkport, Maine, and declare, "Mishun ackomplushed!"

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