I have mixed feelings about my blog these days. A part or me wants to shut it down for good. I've shut it down several times before and I always come back to it not knowing why.
It's a personal blog, but it isn't exhibitionist which means I don't use my real name, I don't mention my acquaintances or give any details that would make it easy for a perfect stranger to identify me but I write really personal stuff. I write what I would write in a journal, things I don't talk about with my loved ones or that I'm afraid to say aloud.

It's for no one and for everyone who lands there by accident and happens to be sharing the same pitfalls and neurosis.

My blog goes hand in hand with my love of words, it has helped me shape and perfect my writing. I can tell how my choice of adjectives, my descriptions, the construction of an anecdote have improved, how the humor has refined, and I'm always amazed at how the solution to my conundrums seem to magically appear in front of my nostrils after pounding at it for sleepless nights and moon traveling days, at the end it just takes a post.

I've been blogging for more than six years so there must be a correlation between the time you've been doing it and the difficulty of stopping. It's become a hard habit to break, or let's say a friend too difficult to leave. Also, the friendships that I've made along the way are priceless. It's a different form of friendship, it's an exercise of acceptance. They know me, I'm a neurotic, a pessimist, a bad version of that girl in the movie Play it Again Sam who looks at a picture and embarks in a dark description of "utter hopelessness" and then laughs about it.

The blogging experience is different for each person, some need the exhibition, for other's it's a business tool, for other's it's a past time or a way to keep in touch with the family, for me it's my choice of therapy with a fun element because it's lovely to see your writing framed by a cute template, surrounded by useless widgets and getting comments.

As I said, six years is a lot, is there something of value there? There is a reason I came here to write, I want to break away from the constraints, I want to explore some of the more mindless or mindful subjects that catch my attention I want to see if I'm capable of writing beyond the blog.

So I guess the best reason to continue the blog is the crucial benefit I get from it which is a weight off my chest when I hit the publish button and the comfort when I look back and see that all things pass.

Learn more about this author, Luisa Fernanda.
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