The year was 1961, we were both 19, and we had been to so many dances together. He always asked me to dance the first and last dance. So, why wouldn't I assume that he was my boyfriend? We held hands on the way home and he walked me to the door of my parent's apartment. So, why wouldn't I think we were made for each other? Some would say, did you become intimate? If they're asking, did we have sex? No, we didn't. We didn't even kiss but he held me pretty close to him when we danced the last dance so, I just assumed that we were intimate.

The test came when I had to break some news to him and I thought he would take the news differently. That week, I had been offered a job in the USA and it came as a surprise to me. Of course, I would tell him about the offer and he would laugh, or so I thought. I thought he would go down on his knees and propose to me right away after pulling out his grandmother's antique ring to present to me. I could imagine myself being more than just a dance partner to him. I thought that I could be his wife and the bearer of his children.

So, the day came when I would break the news. I trembled with anticipation and wore my most favorite dress that I thought he liked. It was a lime green raw silk with a tight bodice and flared skirt. I wore a crinoline underneath the skirt to make my dress stand out and exquisite cream colored shoes made by the chinese shoemakers in my neighborhood. I knew that he liked this dress as he had commented on it before. I was sure it was my lucky dress.

So, there we were, dancing to Jim Reeves or somebody like that. I cannot remember the name of the song because I couldn't hear it well for my heart pounding so hard. His arms were around my back and he drew me quite close to him. I leaned my head on his shoulder and said.
'the company has offered me a job in the USA'
There was a small silence before I heard him say
'oh'
I ventured 'what do you think of that?'
'Congratulations, well done' he replied and I was puzzled.
'but it would mean leaving my family, friends and country' I said, my heart sinking all of a sudden.
'well, if anyone can pull that off, you can' he mumbled.

When the airplane had ascended at least 1000 feet above ground, I let those held-back tears roll down my cheeks and if I hadn't been so self-conscious, I would even have wailed. Instead, I looked down at a cloud of pollution and whispered 'goodbye'!

Learn more about this author, del lobo.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Memoirs: Saying good-bye?
We want to hear your view. Write now!