Many things encompass emotional intelligence. Knowing the world around you and being able to understand and speak a well put together sentence is a good start.

Emotions tend to come out most in close relationships, marriage and work, so I chose to write in that regard.

The ability to perceive one's self and other's is a prime definition of the term. I use what is called " proper discovery" to attain emotional intelligence. Proper discovery is actually a selfish act in that it is used to get inside the other person's thoughts without them knowing what is taking place. It's hard to do for some people but it's easy to explain. Proper discovery is much like interviewing a person, using proper questions leading to what you want to know about them and a lot of listening. People these days do way too much talking which leaves no avenue to properly discover or to realize the emotional intelligence within themselves.

In other words, if one does proper discovery of a person that has the potential to hurt you psychologically you'll never get hurt. For instance in any relationship, whether it be friends, parents, or a potential spouse, one needs to know what to expect of a person, and conversely, what not to expect. I like to equate this to the stock market, if a change is already "priced in" there are no surprises.

Managing emotions is another definition of emotional intelligence. If a person does something that makes you angry always stop and think of these words; The person that makes you react in anger has just gained control of you.

Controlling the situation is emotional intelligence. And the great thing is, the one trying to make you angry and bring you down fails when you don't get angry and then who's the bad guy? They are...

Most importantly, emotional intelligence is first knowing who you are as a person, your shortcomings and your assets. And with that, knowing others will come easy, if you listen, look, watch body language and properly discover who you are dealing with.

Far too many people fall within a few categories that keep them from knowing other people. There's the person that dominates a conversation and cares nothing of what the other has to say. There's the person that's is too insecure to open up and then there's just plain anti social people.

Learn more about this author, Rob Purifoy.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about What is emotional intelligence??
We want to hear your view. Write now!