The funny thing is, I could and probably should write a book about my sleep deprivation. It isn't really by my doing most of the time, or have anything to do with my brain, or stress or caffeine but instead is because of an important physical outside influence...my wife.

I'd like to say that it was because she is constantly hitting me up for sex in the middle of the night. I wouldn't mind that at all...instead, it is because she has a sleeping disorder sometimes referred to as night terrors. Because of this, she sleeps with some sort of night light, which I absolutely loathe. The only thing worse than a constant annoying light on while I am trying to sleep is the TV, which she will watch until around 2AM. She also talks in her sleep, occasionally walks in her sleep and often sees things in the room that aren't there, or at least aren't visible to me.

On more than one occasion, I have been woken to screaming. I am a VERY light sleeper, so screaming is a definite waker-upper. I'm surprised I haven't become a middle aged bed wetter...yet.

Some times these wakings are mildly humorous. Other times they are terrifying and after 6 or 7 nights of no sleep become sort of funny in that twisted, "I haven't slept so long everything is sort of funny" way.

Usually, I get a combo-meal of sleep deprivation. It starts with my wife watching TV until 2 or so, then she falls asleep and does something like getting up and petting a pair of pants I left on the dresser thinking they are a puppy. She comes to and is mad at me because I left the pants on the dresser. I am now awake. She lays back down and falls into a deep sleep that allows her to snore like a train. I cannot go back to sleep when someone is snoring. I can sleep through someone snoring IF I am asleep, but if I'm awake, forget it. Even with earplugs, which I buy by the box and use NIGHTLY...I'd put in two pairs if I could. I will eventually fall back to sleep out of pure exhaustion only to be woken by the dog who is like an alarm clock. I get up, I let her out, I attempt to go back to sleep, then my wife's alarm goes off...one hundred and fifty two times. Someone usually calls in there somewhere too, just to completely insure that there is no possible way I can go back to sleep.

If I'm not working that day, or completely ticked off and up writing or something, I will attempt to sleep while she is at work. The dog usually gives me a couple good hours, but then she has her fit when the cat comes to get some attention or take a nap.

And people wonder why I'm such an angry little man!

Learn more about this author, Rolan Whitt.
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