LOST IN A STORM
(This is very symbolic. I use a storm and its features to represent many of my feelings and emotions during hard times, but somewhere, I do find my determination and strength that pushes us forward.)

I watch the rain. Slowly my heart cries out, and it seems those cries disappear with in the sound of rain falling down. I feel something from bury deep and the thought of it fall down with the rain. The beauty of rain shadowed by dullness and darkness, and when I am able to catch some of its beauty it runs away under the shadows that surround it. You try to break free from its strong hold but you find yourself burying deeper in to them. I trick myself, I find some comfort, but I cover my eyes because my comfort is my pain. You will never understand, darkness covers the day and you can't see light...you can feel it, but I hear the cries, I feel them. For a very long time thats all you hear thats all you feel. i awoke in the middle of the night from hearing someones pain pour through their soul. I suffered as I listened and my own pain grew, it was SO much it woke me up. It laughed in my face and told me it would be here tomorrow. I dreaded to get there. Can't I make tonight last forever? I heard thunder it came crashing down. Was it thunder? or was it anger? I could not tell. I needed to stop it from tormenting me. I sat there for hours.I wanted to use it against pain, but I couldn't it wasn't strong enough. I couldn't do anything with it, but it increased the rain. I tried to bury myself in the rain, but like lighting so beautiful and bold I was the odd one there. It felt like lightning couldn't find a place to land, and then I truly began to feel lost. I sat back and felt a cold wind blow through me. i was freezing and for a moment I forgot the lighting. I was cold from apathy, it almost made me forget everything else. I couldn't stand it for long because I began to shiver and my heart was warming me up. I began to hear the thunder come down louder, harder, it wanted the wind to blow me away. I sat still and ignored the wind blowing, I knew it would make me cold with apathy. I kept warming myself up, and pain was laughing harder, I struggled and slowly i began to feel some light. I couldn't see it, the rain still covered it, but I felt it, maybe I was in the eye of my storm. Simply still and ever so quiet, I wanted to make some noise. My storm was back only now darker, and faster than before. The thunder roared worse than ever, my ears got used to the noise and I felt a chill cooling towards apathy, and as that was happening I noticed the lighting. It was so bold, so beautiful, but so lost. I noticed something I had not seen before. That lightning, the same one who couldn't find a place to land, the same one scattered and lost, kept coming down faster and faster. I watched it bewildered. This whole time I had been seeing the light. It was my lighting that wouldn't give up, it kept searching and looking for that place to land. All this time I failed to realize that my own lightning was the light of my Storm.

Learn more about this author, Nayibis Pacheco.
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