I would like to say the reason for me still being single is because of all the bad influences in my life.

I'd love to blame the horrible childhood I had, the lousy boyfriend's I dated, the workaholic life thrust upon me and so on. However, the only real person I have to blame, or congratulate, is me.

I did have a horrible childhood but, I removed myself from that environment as soon as I could which was the best move I ever made. I don't harbor any ill feelings about what happened in my past but I am aware of what I will not tolerate and how compassionate I may be towards my partner. I have dated some really great guys and some really lousy guys as well. For as long as I can remember though, each guy I have dated has proposed (with the exception of one). That means to me that they saw something in my that I didn't and what is more important is that they were at least paying some attention to who I was/am to want to spend the rest of their lives with me. And yes, I have chosen to work a lot so that I have a far more financially secure future. I never wanted to end up like my mother where she had to rely on a man to take care of her.

So, in the end, I am the reason that I am single and I will take that blame and celebrate it. I am a believer in never settling. I am also a believer that at times I may have to compromise who I am in order to have a healthy relationship with others. When compromise turns into back breaking change, then I have to reevaluate the relationship and if after speaking my mind to my partner and not seeing a change in progression, at that moment I feel I am settling.

I won't subject myself to the fears of being alone by creating a world of worry such as: What happens when I become older and no one is there to take care of me? I have friends and I know they will be there for me. How many more nights will I be sitting home alone? I will sit home as many as it takes if that means the right person will come along.

I could go on but you get the point. There are many reasons a person chooses to stay single. I am adamant in my choice and that is, I refuse to settle. And I CELEBRATE my single life just as Carrie Bradshaw did on Sex in the City!

Learn more about this author, Campbell Nallick.
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