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Parenting teenagers can be tricky at the best of times but when you no longer share the same house or indeed the same ideology as your children's father then parenting becomes a mine field where hurt lurks around every corner. There have been many times when I have had to put on a brave face so that the children don't see how I'm hurting inside waving them goodbye as they depart, or as teenagers when their father is the first to know significant things purely because they are staying with him. When your marriage breaks up the fall-out is your family life which will never be entirely in your control. There have been many times discussions with my ex-husband about our children's welfare has left me exhausted, frustrated and deeply regretful of my split family situation. I wished someone would have warned me about the guerrilla war fare waged between split parents wanting to maintain control so that I would be better prepared for the emotional struggle.

Yes, the children are better off with divorced parents who communicate but don't be deceived that there aren't parenting sacrifices you will have to make as your children divide their time between their parents. The most important action to take is to let them know you love them no matter what and if you let them go, they will love you all the more for it.

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