by SL Lim

Created on: September 11, 2007   Last Updated: February 10, 2009

Is fidelity eternal? Not always, and always not without effort or choice. If you were honest once, does it make you an honest person? My point is, "Cheater" is a label, just like slut, thief, liar, bitch, asshole, etc. Think about it. What do we call a faithful husband or wife?

At some point in our lives and relationships, most of us would have experienced being cheated on or done some cheating. I have been through and heard enough to know that both men and women can be cheaters.

One particular person I knew would proudly declare this statement true. I will say it as it was then and name him C just for easier reference.

C lived and breathed this theory, proving with actions and by choice, in every relationship he had. He attributed his behavior to his father and claimed that it ran in the family, that it is in his blood the inability to be faithful to one woman. Relationship after relationship, he picked only tolerant (and stupid) women who would stick by him till the very last straw; an act of infidelity and betrayal surpassing the last.

When I first met C, he taught me "If you have to cheat, just don't get caught". It was always about playing this game and getting better at it. But it was an addiction, a vicious cycle for which he had only himself to blame.

This person was my boyfriend for 5 dreadful years and husband for (thankfully) less than a year. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I am ashamed to admit that I blinded myself with the fake perception of love and tolerated his multiple cheatings. To a huge extent, I played with fire and tested this theory with reverse psychology. Let him cheat all he wants, I thought. Like a child who would get tired of playing and return to his comfortable old bed, I figured he might eventually "grow out of it". He did, for a while, a very short while.

During that while, we got married. And then, it started again. He flirted in Internet chat rooms. He had a girl come up to our apartment once, in our bed. I accidentally found that out when this girl came online while he was taking his afternoon nap and I was web-surfing with our only computer. She started chatting, assuming I was him, and teasingly suggested another session, asking if his parents were still on holiday. We were the only 2 people who lived in that apartment. His parents were living elsewhere, separately, and definitely not on holiday. I was amazed at how easily this girl revealed her intentions and even more astounded when she said she was

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