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No and it doesn't have to. The couple themselves gives that character to a marriage. Losing that sacred character in a marriage has nothing to do with marriage itself but with the individuals that comprise the marriage. True love has nothing to do with emotions but with the will. The parties in a marriage has to exercise that will time and time again and be determined to give that character of sanctity to their marriage.

I happen to be a Catholic married to a non-Catholic. A civil marriage would have sufficed if not for my being a believer in the sanctity of marriage strengthened by the blessing of my church. So after a much-awaited application for dispensation we were finally married in a Catholic Church. According to the officiating priest, it was the simplest wedding that he had observed in his entire career. I meant it to be that way. I didn't want to be an extravaganza that will later end up as a flop. If I entirely had it my way, it would have just been the two of us and the priest as the witness. And that would have made it more solemn. No distractions - just us, saying the vows and meaning each word that we utter to each other in the presence of the priest.

A marriage is sealed through the vows that a couple pronounces to each other. True mature individuals keep those words to heart and work on nurturing the relationship. You don't break vows. You cannot break vows! A vow is more than a mere license or document you can tear. It is a covenant between the couple and God. And thus, no one should break it asunder. Nobody - not even the couple. You have given yourselves to each other. You belong to each other. To break oneself from the other is simply violence to your nature. You are meant to be one. This is why extra-marital relations hurt. This is why getting alienated to each other hurt. You are supposed to be for each other - exclusively.

Keeping a marriage intact is very hard if you have to rely on your own efforts. This is where faith comes into picture. It is there to fall on. If one is serious about keeping the sanctity of marriage, you have to practice your faith that gives that meaning of sanctity. The mere act of attending church services together regularly, strengthens that bond of unity. From the very start, I made it known to my husband that attending mass on Sundays is not optional for me and that being married to me, he has to accompany me, as a sign of respect and to be a good example for our children. Just imagine what kind of effort and frustration will I experience if I have to shepherd my children while my spouse doesn't give a damn about my religious obligations! Confusion on the part of the children will ensue. We have to be in agreement on how we are to bring up the children. When we happen to have arguments on a holy day of obligation, the point of the mass where we give each other a sign of peace, makes us forget whatever the reason we were arguing before. And it has worked time and time again. We have our ups and downs but somehow we keep that respect for each other. He's not perfect, but neither am I. Pride has no place between the two of us.

Bottom line, it is up to each one of us to have sanctity intact in our own marriages. No one can do that for you - not the society at large, not the media - just you, just the two of you, aided by faith.

Learn more about this author, Ana-Marie Ly.
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