It feels good to just sit here, doing nothing. The breeze comes in intermittently, and there's hardly a sound outside. It's as if the heavy atmosphere has put everyone to sleep. I try to keep my mind blank and close my eyes. Just the right kind of day for a nap. But thoughts drift in and out. And I catch one thread, but it drifts away; wispy. I can see a glare high up in the sky. It's just an airplane caught in the sunlight. Looks so tiny. I wonder where it is going.

It's such a big sky. Looks empty without the birds. I guess they are all in their nests, waiting for the time when the sun will be a bit low on the horizon. There's one white cloud moving slowly. I can see its shadow on the ground. I catch some voices drifting in. Some children, out playing. Sounds like they are having an argument. I try to see where they are, but it is very far, though you would not know by the noise. It was that kind of an afternoon.

A movement catches my eye. I arrange the chairs so that I can get a clear view. It's just a woman, putting clothes out to dry in the balcony. She does this with such fluidity that I know she has done this a thousand times before, and will do it a thousand times more. There's a bucket full of clothes at her feet. She has one pair of trousers draped over her shoulder, while she holds a sari folded perfectly so that it would fit the gap in the clothesline. My thoughts start drifting again. I know I have some work to do, but..

I wonder if she would be thinking of me. Only yesterday, we had an argument. It's silly sometimes. You know it would've been easy just to let go and give in, but no, you always have to have the upper hand. So what if she was wrong. It was not such a big thing anyway and you could've been the bigger person. But you missed the chance and now you start worrying whether it will blow up into a big problem. So much of life is spent looking backwards, just like this. And then it starts spilling out into the present. You never react to situations as and when they come, but always you have to relate it to something you've done in the past.

I start thinking about how it all happened in the first place. I never knew she would be interested in me. I think now how lucky I am that I found out. All those days spent thinking wistfully and there she was doing the same. But damn me if I would be the one who spoke first. After all, there is such a thing as pride. And the fear of rejection. Better just to dream, than to chase them and

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