by Justin Cuffley

Created on: September 11, 2007

Poor Britney.

Last night, she attempted to make a comeback debut opening MTV's Video Music Awards. Her performance was the talk of the town today but for all the wrong reasons.

First, Britney is the mother of two, and we all understand what sort of toll pregnancies can take on a woman's body. Britney doesn't understand that because if she did she would not have performed last night making an absolute spectacle of herself. Her tummy gut was jiggling the entire performance. If Britney understood what sort of toll pregnancy had taken on her own body, she would have checked herself into a Beverly Hills lipo-clinic one month prior to the show. That tummy gut needs to be tamed. We have become accustommed to seeing magnificent overnight beauty transformations by celebrities for absolutely no reason at all; all in the name of vanity. So, it should be noted that if you are trying to make a career comeback, you want to be looking you best, which Britney's tummy gut prevented her from doing.

Second, her outfit was leaving a lot to be desired, meaning more clothing. It was essentially a black bikini. Now Britney was on the right track by wearing black for its slimming effects, however she simply needed more of it.

Third, the choreography was atrocious. It was slow, weak, and not entertaining. It was tailored to fit Britney's physical fitness. This is sad. MTV was foolish for putting Britney as the opening act because once I watched the poorly executed opening entertainment provided by Britney, I stopped watching altogether.

If there is anyone who knows anything about comebacks it is Madonna. Britney has been compared to Madonna on several ocassions, and Britney's last VMA appearance was one with Madonna where they shared a quick kiss on the lips. That moment in time where their lips touched is all they share unfortunately. Britney's performance last night is proof that she should never be compared to Madonna. Madonna continues to re-invent herself. Nearing fifty years old and being a mother of two, Madonna is in incredible shape. Britney is barely in her mid-twenties but has not maintained her body at all.

The kitchen is getting very hot, Britney. It might be time to make your exit.

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